I can't believe that it has been nearly a year since I posted! I have come to hate those things which make demands on my time. I am in a stage in my life where I need to be accountable for every moment. I have responsibilities to my family, my career, and my faith that leave me gasping and grasping for every free moment, of which there are precious few.

I am awake this a.m. because I am in pain. I was just lying in bed letting my mind wander but just lying there put my pain in stark relief so that I was much too focused on it. So, I got up.

Have you ever noticed how noisy life is? We are surrounded by immense amounts of noise all day. There are what I call "immediate" noises, and background noise. The immediate noise is that which we make intentionally, and in close proximity. Like the kids being their usual noisy selves, the sound of T.V. and music we wrap ourselves in, and all the minute interpersonal communication that we as humans engage in.

Try this sometime: get up at say 3:00 a.m., go to the family room, or whatever is normally the quietest room in your abode, and just listen to the layers of sound. All the immediate noises shouldn't be present. But you will find that there is so much noise all the same. Within our houses there are countless noise makers. You may hear the intermittent noises of the sleeping dwellers in your house (snores, mutterings, tossings and turnings). There are also the "life support" machines going about their business: the furnace is surprisingly loud, the refrigerator click off and on, as does the water heater. You may have other noise makers like aquarium pumps and computer terminals.

Now, extend your audible reach to the out of doors. Yes, you can hear outside the house. I can hear the sound of rain on the roof if I listen for it. (Rain is a constant background noise here in Oregon). Sometimes you may here the sound of wind and air moving about. If you are within even a mile of a large roadway, you will hear it. Train horns travel an enormous distance, as do fog horns.

So, you've just gone through the Zen-like experience of just listening. You've figuratively stepped outside your head and body to identify the sound that permeates existence. Here's another such experience, but it requires an journey within: identify the operation of your own body. You will find you can actually feel the beating of your heart and movement of blood through your body. You may feel the involuntary contractions of your gut as it moves your digesting food through. I am supremely aware of the air in my mouth, throat and lungs.

But as I hold still, I become aware of pain. I feel the dull ache of muscles, not entirely unpleasant, but there none the less. I have skeletal issues. My back radiates pain from two places. Oh, well, I could continue but I find it doesn't do me much good to focus on the pain. I need to function, not get into questions like: does anyone ever live pain free? Besides, too much focus on oneself is unseemly.

Anyway, that is where I am, mentally, this early a.m. Where are you?