I can't believe that it has been nearly a year since I posted! I have come to hate those things which make demands on my time. I am in a stage in my life where I need to be accountable for every moment. I have responsibilities to my family, my career, and my faith that leave me gasping and grasping for every free moment, of which there are precious few.

I am awake this a.m. because I am in pain. I was just lying in bed letting my mind wander but just lying there put my pain in stark relief so that I was much too focused on it. So, I got up.

Have you ever noticed how noisy life is? We are surrounded by immense amounts of noise all day. There are what I call "immediate" noises, and background noise. The immediate noise is that which we make intentionally, and in close proximity. Like the kids being their usual noisy selves, the sound of T.V. and music we wrap ourselves in, and all the minute interpersonal communication that we as humans engage in.

Try this sometime: get up at say 3:00 a.m., go to the family room, or whatever is normally the quietest room in your abode, and just listen to the layers of sound. All the immediate noises shouldn't be present. But you will find that there is so much noise all the same. Within our houses there are countless noise makers. You may hear the intermittent noises of the sleeping dwellers in your house (snores, mutterings, tossings and turnings). There are also the "life support" machines going about their business: the furnace is surprisingly loud, the refrigerator click off and on, as does the water heater. You may have other noise makers like aquarium pumps and computer terminals.

Now, extend your audible reach to the out of doors. Yes, you can hear outside the house. I can hear the sound of rain on the roof if I listen for it. (Rain is a constant background noise here in Oregon). Sometimes you may here the sound of wind and air moving about. If you are within even a mile of a large roadway, you will hear it. Train horns travel an enormous distance, as do fog horns.

So, you've just gone through the Zen-like experience of just listening. You've figuratively stepped outside your head and body to identify the sound that permeates existence. Here's another such experience, but it requires an journey within: identify the operation of your own body. You will find you can actually feel the beating of your heart and movement of blood through your body. You may feel the involuntary contractions of your gut as it moves your digesting food through. I am supremely aware of the air in my mouth, throat and lungs.

But as I hold still, I become aware of pain. I feel the dull ache of muscles, not entirely unpleasant, but there none the less. I have skeletal issues. My back radiates pain from two places. Oh, well, I could continue but I find it doesn't do me much good to focus on the pain. I need to function, not get into questions like: does anyone ever live pain free? Besides, too much focus on oneself is unseemly.

Anyway, that is where I am, mentally, this early a.m. Where are you?

I got an email at work this last week and all it said was that "the fat lady is warming up". There has been a lot of talk in the court about how bad things are getting, particularly since the state of Oregon is nearly $900 million in the hole right now.

So, as if you needed another indication of how bad thngs are getting, the state was originally going to cut 1/2 of the state court budget. Don't get me wrong, I believe in tightening the belt when there isn't money to spend, but the courts are one of the few things that government HAS to fund. Cutting the budget in half would mean that 1/2 the work would get done, and what courts do is keep society civil. People bring cases to court, whether they be family custody battles, suing people, or criminal cases - if the courts aren't there, the nation will no longer be ruled by law, but some people will revert to violence. No, I am not being melodramatic, just think about it.

So the solution was reached after lots of debates, that the courts will make severe cuts. We were sure that our program would get the axe. Instead, some services will be curtailed, fees will be increased, and all the courts in Oregon will be closed on Friday - beginning the 13th of March. THat means that those of us who work in the court will take a 20% pay cut.

This is just a reminder that times are tough. Things may be bad for you, but they may be worse for others. We do not yet know how bad this will get. The stock market appears to be in a slow free-fall. Many people who were ready to retire no longer have the retirement they thought they would have - so they continue to work. Unfortuantely, the governemnt is bent on expanding welfare at an increasing cost to the fewer and fewer people who are productive. FDR tried this in the 30's and all we got was a longer and deeper depression. Winston Churchill saw the efforts of the Socialists in his own country and said that the stupidity of a nation that tries to tax and spend its way to prosperity was like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by pulling on the handle.

I don't really want to spread doom and gloom, just a notion of what is happening, and the lame response of our government. Socialist programs run apace, with increased funding, but those services we need, like law enforcement and courts, are being cut back.

I guess one bright side - for those of you who hate attorneys - is that thousands of lawyers are losing their jobs as law firms cut back. (But it's tough on those of us who are honest attorneys and still have a house payment to make as all our neighbors stop paying their mortgages assuming Obama will save them).

Snow Day

So, it's Mid December and we have snow. It's funny that here in Oregon the whole place shuts down once there is even the slightest chance that snow will stick to the ground. Our first winter here, it snowed a little on a Saturday night. We went to church the next day, there was just a little slush on the road, but the place was deserted. We went home and the news reporters were all a dither about the snow. So now we know - life shuts down when the white stuff sifts down from the clouds. No church today, and no school tomorrow. Un fortunately, the courts don't close so I must get to work tomorrow and brave the slick roads with a bunch of people who have no idea how to drive in it. But the kids are loving it!

My raison d'etre, my kids. How can anyone dislike kids? How could anyone intentionally harm a child? I wish it were not so, but far too many are harmed in our society. We are too soft on perpetrators. We allow too much to enter their lives through the media and schools that can sully their innocence. These I will strive to help grow happy and strong - enough so that they can tell right from wrong in a world that no longer makes that distinction.